Why did I stop Dating

After reading this topic many might think that I will blabber the same thing that the guys I dated had this issue or that issue but no, this is different. I have dated a heck lot of men but it did not work out. It has been 2 years since I have stopped dating and here goes the prime reasons.

Somewhere in Sardinia

Touch me Not: When someone likes someone (regardless of gender) and they date obviously they want to touch, kiss the other person. In my case, I do not like anyone touching or kissing. I do not even prefer holding hands. Leave alone in reality not even virtually (if you can understand what I mean). I know it sounds weird but I am not at all comfortable.

Being ‘Extra’ Sweet: Of course, people love when the other person is being sweet to them or wants to know all about them. I am ok with that but when it comes to texting or calling that too 24*7 asking “Honey, you had lunch”, “Honey had dinner?” honey this, honey that; I am NOT okay. C’mon give me a break! I do not think this is sweet, according to me this is stalking. I mean now if I have to go to washroom do I need to tell the other person. This is utterly a shit and I do not tolerate this.

Behavioral Change: I have noticed this thing in men and women both when they want someone they would do anything so that they like them back and once it happens all of a sudden they become way too busy. I understand people might have busy lives and my schedule is an example for the ones who know me but if someone really means something to you no matter how busy you are you will find out a little time for them. If you cannot give them your precious time better STAY AWAY! In my case even after warning for several times if I still see that the person is coming up with excuses, no matter how much I like him, I walk away.

Overly Possessive: We all know being a little bit possessive is alright, but overly possessive? Trust me, IT SUCKS…! During my college days, I was dating a guy who had a problem with whenever anyone called me over the phone and my call went on waiting mode, even if it was my dad. I was made to cut contacts with all my friends and I was not even allowed to talk to my girl-friends. Very soon he got on my nerves and I dumped him.

Do NOT tell me what to do: Just because someone is dating me or I am dating someone that does not give us the right to interfere in our personal matters or family matters unless asked for. Try doing this and you are straight out of sight and out of mind.

Don’t ask me: I expect people to understand me rather than asking me. Yes there might be misunderstandings but if I really care about someone I would clarify it or give explanation. If I dont care enough then, “Get lost dude”.

Why Me? : People change, I do agree with that but why do I have to call or text someone always. When they wanted me and my time, they never got bored with me or had time for me during ‘their’ busy hours but now no time? Isn’t it simply great? As one of my blogging friend Daisy, told me once, “If a man wants you, he’ll call, he’ll text, he’ll cross the oceans and be there for you. Everything else is just an excuse.”, this is very true. Darling, you expect me to do it then why can’t you?

So in my case whenever this happens I observe them for a week then solely stop contacting or I make sure that they just ‘damn’ leave. It hurts, yes but mental peace is way more important to me. But once again, of course, I am not cutting them out of my life, I just cannot hurt my self-respect anymore. I am there for them if they need me because I know them. I know a lot of people, I just don’t make friends.

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See, I know I have issues and I accept them. All men are not as bad as often pictured, yes there are issues from both the sides and maybe we all are right from our own point of view. However, I always say that I am not good. Some say I am paranoid and some say that I may have an inferiority complex but I do not have any, I just accept myself the way I am. I can’t say sugar coated words, I can’t be pretentious. If that makes me bad then yes I am. 

However, I also believe that if 2 people are meant to be together nothing can come between them. No matter how bad the time is or how much complicated you are.

So be you. Accept yourself the way you are. Love yourself with all your complications because believe me no one on earth can love you more than you can.

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3 things that I have learned the hard way

1: Time Management is Necessary

A good time management is always necessary as it lets you complete or accomplish more in a short period of time, which as a result will give you a lot of time for yourself. And ‘me’ time is very necessary as you can pamper yourself, think of what to do next, pursue your hobbies and most importantly you can spend a quality time with your friends and beloved ones.

2: Your Problem is Your Problem None of Others Problem

Indians after reading this point it can recollect Daisy Shah’s famously trolled dialogue from Race 3, “Our business is our business. None of your business”. However coming back to the point, whatever problems you have in your life they are completely yours. People might listen to your issues if you share it with them but only very few will understand. You are the only person who needs to deal with your issues. No one will understand your pain or issues as you do.

3: Learn to Say No

Saying No is very important because when you constantly say yes or agree with someone they tend to take you for granted, which is not good at all. You can say ‘No’ without being rude too. Remember, at the end of the day loving yourself is most important and saying yes and then stressing over it will only make you sick.

Monidipa Dutta

That’s all from my side today on withlovemoni.com. See you soon again.

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The Art of Smile

Every person knows how it feels to be broken from inside yet keeping a smile on face. These quotes are dedicated to those lovely smiles which hide the pain so efficiently.

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“Strong people are the ones who can smile for others’ happiness.” 
―Veronica Purcel

“I hide hurt behind a fake smile. I wear it all the time. Everyone says how I always look so cheerful. Shows what they know I guess.” ―Ellen Hopkins

“Lorraine once told me, smile big when you’re sad. Smile big when you’re happy. Smile big when you’re bored. Because regardless how you feel, your face could use a stretch.” 
―Marley Jacobs

“A fake smile may fool the crowd but it never eases the pain.”
―Kelly Brook

“He who wears a smile instead of worrying is always the strongest.”
―Vikrant Parsai

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“Keep smiling because no one care’s how you feel.” 
―Altaf ul Qadri

“Too often, behind that smile of mine, I hide a thousand tears.”
―Alex V.

“Many smiling faces hide a bleeding heart.” 
―Bangambiki Habyarimana

“A smile is the best way to deal with difficult situations. Even if it’s a fake one. Used properly, you can fool anyone with them.” 
―Sai

“Smile, even if it’s fake. Laugh, even if you hurt. Don’t let anyone get to you, you’re beautiful regardless of what anyone says to you.”
―Anurag Prakash Ray

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