How to know that you are manipulated in a relationship?

Emotional control in a relationship is more typical than you may suspect it is. It does not just occur in explicitly harsh connections, dissimilar to what a few people might want to think. It very well may be something as little as your accomplice driving you to dependably do what they need when you all are as one. In any case, it can mean something progressively genuine. You may not know it, however, they might control you to scrutinize your very own recollections.

There are some points which I have figured out, which here I have pointed out here.

They use this sentence, “Only if you loved me” to get their things done.

I mean seriously? Now when you are not getting your work done you are using this emotional manipulating stuff to get your work done.

They play Victim

They will play the role of victim and make you the offender. I will tell you an experience of mine. My first boyfriend, who was also my lover started staying at my place. He used to torture me, physically and mentally because he wanted to have sex with me and I did not want to. What his friends knew was that I seeing my best friend and I was torturing him.

They try and provoke every time they get a chance

They try and provoke you whenever they get to know that you are about to understand their game.

You are emotionally blackmailed

They might even threaten by saying that they will kill themselves (truly, this happens more every now and again than you can think of) – it can get exceptionally emotional with an individual like this. They likewise will, in general, be individuals who continually prefer to advise you that they will pass on without you, and make you feel claustrophobic in the relationship.

They always make you have a feeling that you owe them something

They will remember everything they did for you and just for once you are busy with your own life or having a good time without them they will bring it up.

Whenever you call out on them for their mistakes they will claim that you are overreacting.

These are the same kind of people who love to provoke you. Denying that your justified response to something is, indeed, you going overboard is a masterstroke in making light of their own fault.

They call you oversensitive and selfish.

These are the grown up versions of the bullies we had in school and colleges. They can say something obtrusively chauvinist or out and out destructive and hope to escape with everything by saying, “Figure out how to take a joke!” It can be anything like pressurizing you to watch films and shows of their choice even if you don’t like the movie or actor or whatsoever, heading off to a restaurant of their choice, or any other. And once you speak up for yourself, boom, the blame game begins.

Raising voice when they do not get their way.

This is common thing, they bring their voice up in contentions, as well as remind you how humiliating it is that the neighbors can hear you all battle. Inevitably, you feel too depleted to even consider carrying one with the battles, so you quit standing up to.

Being critical

They once in a while ever have anything positive to state. What’s more regrettable is that they request that you accept it as helpful input, when it is a long way from it. They wear you out with their consistent stream of cynicism. On the off chance that you endeavor to address them about it, watch the response! They can dish it out yet they won’t take it.

The biggest point is that, when they are finally done with you or bored with you They use your points against you.

I was thinking to write this post ever since a long time but I was sure after I saw Dr. Antonio Borrello’s video on ‘Sneaky games men use to use to manipulate you’. Those of you do not know he is a well-known and obviously my favorite YouTuber on dating and relationships. He always has scientific reasons. His username is Antonio Borrello so you may subscribe him on YouTube.

Have you faced anything like this in your relationships? Let me know in comments.

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108 thoughts on “How to know that you are manipulated in a relationship?

  1. Avatar
    Salona says:

    This is am amazing article with beautiful and emotional key points you have brought up. Unfortunately many people are manipulated in relationships. And that causes more harm and self doubt than anything else.

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    Jessica says:

    Man is this not the truth!! Its so ironic that I was just speaking to a friend about how manipulative individuals can be in relationships especially when they feel they are losing control over you. Great info and great read!

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    Guidemi says:

    Great information, it’s kind of related to some of my friends who are in relation. Being manipulated in a relation definitely don’t do you any good.

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    Mattel says:

    I was in a manipulative relationship before, thank goodness I managed to recognize the signs! We almost got married! This article will help a lot of women.

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    Konstantina says:

    My older cousin is in a super manipulative relationship. It’s true that at first she couldn’t see the signs or acknowledge his problematic behavior. Such a great post.

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    Dalene Ekirapa says:

    Great pointers here Moni. It’s very unfortunate to be in such a manipulative relationship but one thing I’ve seen too is that such partners will always make yo feel like you owe them.

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    Clarice says:

    I am really sad that these types of relationship happen and it’s awful to be one since I have a close friend who is suffering. These signs you mentioned are spot on.

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    Kemi says:

    Hmmnn…thankfully I’ve never endured this and once I see the signs, it’s either I confront him or I leave. I’m a very forceful person so in the event this happens (Heaven forbid), 2 headstrong people will not work.

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    blair villanueva says:

    If you allow that person to manipulate you then, you are giving consent to that to yourself. We have the choice to change it or embrace it for the sake of someone or something. However, it isn’t good at any angle.

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    Jennifer Prince says:

    Been there. Done that. Why do we as women stay in relationships like that? Ug. Great to bring this topic to light!

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    Stacie says:

    This is such an amazing article. Unfortunately, far too many people are in relationships like this. I hope that someone out there reads this and finds the courage to get out.

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    Annemarie LeBlanc says:

    I know of someone who is in a situation like this. She really wants out but she has children to worry about. I am going to send her the link to this post. I hope she ends her relationship with her husband. It is not healthy for her or for her kids.

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    Marysa says:

    It is often hard to see these things when you are in a relationship. But I have often seen it from the outside, and it is terrible when you see how people control others.

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    David Elliott says:

    I lived eight years where a woman used all of these tactics in a relationship. Frequently it’s because the person has some kind of a personality disorder. They are not secure in who they are and so they need to constantly destabilize the relationships so they feel like they are more in a secure footing. Or at least they feel more in control than you do and that’s all that matters to them. I wish I could say that people like this didn’t exist. Unfortunately, it’s more common then we would like to think. And sex is no predictor of who exhibits these behavioral attributes.

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    Adam Townsend says:

    I would argue with some of the other comments on here as I feel I’m living proof that it’s not only women that put up with this and that men also have to deal with things like this.

    My previous relationship was, at times, very manipulative. I was made to feel small, poor and just an awful partner. The thing is, and in my opinion it’s the biggest thing, is that when you have this manipulation, this emotional torment happen to you it breaks you so you don’t think you’re good enough for anything else. That’s why people stay in these relationships, and that’s why it takes a huge amount of courage for people to walk away.

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    Elizabeth O says:

    This is such an amazing and an informative article. It’s so important to know if you’re dealing with a negative relationship. Thank you so very much for sharing this.

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    sabrina barbante says:

    Manipulation is something I try to elope from in ANY relationship. Manipulation come from parents, partners and friends and this is the kind of attitude I always escape from. Too toxic and dangerous mainly for people who tend to be emphatic.

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    Pam R says:

    I have not experienced any of these first hand, but I have friends who have been in similar situations. Playing the victim is something I have seen in some people who are in relationships. Its a horrible game of manipulation and it is something I avoid in relationships of any kind.

  19. Avatar
    Shannon says:

    This was a really interesting read, thanks for sharing. I have a Masters in Clinical Psych so I love reading about different things like this. I’m thankful I haven’t been in a relationship like this!

  20. Avatar
    Alexandra says:

    A brilliantly written post, my dear friend.
    Sadly, I relate to this all too well, but I needed to read it – for sure.

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    Sara says:

    Sadly, I have been in a relationship like this in my past. But, it’s not for nothing. It has brought me to my husband and we have been happily married for many years. Great advice for those that are in a tough spot.

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    Niña Nichols says:

    Thankfully, I am in a relationship where I don’t need to do something because I’m being manipulated. This is a sad reality for most people who need to face this kind of abuse each day.

  23. Avatar
    Kristen Frolich says:

    This is great information about awareness on this topic. Unfortunately toxic relationships seem to be on the rise so its great to have some key behaviors to really watch out for so you don’t end up feeling the effects of a bad relationship.

  24. Avatar
    Surekha Busa says:

    That was so sad that you got to experience such abuse. It was so fulfilling to know that someone else out there could understand and relate to such situations.

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    Brianne says:

    It’s sad when someone manipulates their partner. It doesn’t nurture the relationship at all, and will cause the person being manipulated to think twice before jumping into another relationship.

  26. Avatar
    Nicole Anderson | Camping for Women says:

    Unfortunately, I know of a person close to me that is in this type of relationship where the partner behaves a lot in this way. Totally manipulative and controlling although the person doesn’t seem to see it or just doesn’t care. It is really sad to see when you only have their best interests at heart but they continue to carry on with that situation. I often wonder how long it can last.

  27. Avatar
    Kansas Bonanno says:

    This is an amazing article, and so needed to be talked about. Bringing light to this is the only way to get the word out and get yourself to safety.

  28. Avatar
    Adriana says:

    This is such an educated post! So many individuals are in relationships where they are manipulated but unfortunately, they are so blinded by love that they refused to see it.

  29. Avatar
    aareeba says:

    These are some really good points. I know some of my friends who’s been through this and it’s really sad to see them suffer

  30. Avatar
    Gervin Khan says:

    I am so sorry you got to experienced these things from your former relationships. I know how hard to be manipulated by other people not only in a lovers relationship but also in friends and work relationships. I am glad that he is already out of your life now.

  31. Avatar
    Gill Trotman says:

    You make some very valid points here. Relationships are never suppose to feel like work. Doing things out of love is one thing, but doing things out of fear or unseen psychological manipulation are another. Great post!

  32. Avatar
    Shweta koul says:

    Must say that you have shared this very important information on the relationship, we somehow at some point gets trapped in this all manipulation. Sometimes we don’t want to lose the relation or sometimes we really don’t care. But a relation should be free from all limitations, there shouldn’t be any way for manipulation. Thanks for spreading awareness on this major issue.

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    Ann F. Snook-Moreau says:

    These things sound like more than manipulation . . . they are abuse. I am so glad that my husband does not try to use my emotions against me.

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    Cătălina-Iuliana Nini says:

    This will be so eye-opening for so many people that are in a relationship just so they are not alone. Being with someone means you want the best for them. Yes, not everything is honey glazed and fights/misunderstanding will appear but if it`s not working, learn to make it work or let it go.

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    Gladys Nava says:

    Wow! That was a great article to read. I never thought that there is manipulation of relationship, I thought that was that kind is in the relationship. Thanks for letting me know all about these!!

  36. Avatar
    Kayla says:

    I really think it is important to continue talking about this in hopes that it helps someone break the cycle. Nobody has to be treated that way. A relationship should be someplace/someone that makes us feel safe.

  37. Avatar
    Dr. K. Lee Banks says:

    Very thought-provoking post. Unfortunately, I have had this experience in past relationships, including two ex-husbands who were truly manipulative, critical, emotionally and verbally abusive … well, pretty much everything you described here! Fortunately, I’m remarried (coming up on 13 years) to a man who treats me SO much better!

  38. Avatar
    Cris F says:

    Yes, all true. I was married to one, and he nearly destroyed me. It’s taken 8 years to rebuild myself. Manipulation is not love, no matter how much some people call it that.

  39. Avatar
    Kristine Nicole Alessandra says:

    I have been in a relationship like this and I was stupid to have kept up with the abuse for 14 years. Every time my ex would apologize, I immediately forgave him, although at the back of my mind, the trust was not there anymore. Fortunately, I found enough courage to leave. I packed my bags and left. Me and my kids found shelter in my parents’ home.My ex did not even seem to care that we were gone.

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    Rosey says:

    There is a family member I know and love who is being manipulated. She is smart so I am dumbfounded that she does not see what we all do, and she gets mad when we mention things to her about it (as we all have). She’s def. giving new meaning to the phrase, ‘love is blind.’

  41. Avatar
    Mommy Peach says:

    It is sad to know that we have all been there — manipulated in some way in our past relationship. But the most important thing is to see right through and to get out of it.

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    Rebecca Sanchez says:

    Definitely be warned when gaslighting happens in any relationship – it’s a definite sign that you need to get out. Keeping a good center, knowing your value is key in not losing yourself in a relationship – this is such a great post, and worth sharing (which I will do)!

  43. Avatar
    Shannan P says:

    Emotional manipulation is just as painful as any physical abuse one can suffer. Guilt tripping and gaslighting do so much damage and many struggle so hard to see it for what it is.

  44. Avatar
    Catherine Santiago Jose says:

    This is such a great post and an enlightenment to all those in this same kind of situation. Totally agree with everything you’ve cited and this is just what we need nowadays.

  45. Avatar
    Joanna says:

    When your other half starts to manipulate you, then you know the love is gone and the relationship is not working anymore. I don’t get why women choose to stay with men who torture them emotionally.

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    Melissa says:

    This is a great advice for everyone, not just for spousal relationships but friendship as well! I had so many toxic, manipulative friends through college and slowly began to distance myself from them. I am happy to say I have a solid circle of friends and a husband who provides support and strength rather than try to rip me down <3

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    Emmeline says:

    This is such an important topic & a great post! I think many people need it. It’s so easy to be swept away and especially when people are good to be manipulative it’s hard to see it for what it is – not your fault! Thank you for sharing!

  48. Avatar
    Sincerely Miss J says:

    Great article talking about a subject a lot of people don’t really like talking about. However, it’s important to talk about because these types of relationships are toxic and can impact the rest of someone’s life.

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