Types of People You Should Stay Away From

There are many kinds of people whom we meet at points of our life. Some are good, some are not. But there are some kinds of people among all those who are absolutely not good for us. They obviously affect our mental health. Here are three types of people one should stay away from.


The Manipulator: These people are the most difficult of all. They are experts of control, in spite of the fact that they presumably believe they’re uber-useful. Manipulators are ace catch pushers who will go after your weaknesses to inspire you to fall into line. You can spot controllers immediately when you understand they’re typically endeavoring to persuade you regarding something that they need you to do, on their terms. Abstain from surrendering control in your life to one of these.


The Self-Claimed Victims: These people keep on claiming that how this or that had happened to them and they do not have good luck. It is like as if they are the only ones who have issues and others do not have troubles in their lives. Sooner or later, being around this kind of consistent “poor me” will end up perilous to your prosperity. Unfortunate casualties are regularly searching for others to approve their sentiments and it tends to be a tricky incline between being caring and steady and acknowledging you ought to have defined a few limits. 


The Underminers: These are the type of people who absolutely are disgusting. If you personally ask me I can handle a manipulator rather than have these sort of people around me. Let me tell you why. Do you realize that individual who professes to be your well-wisher yet dependably has a sharp comment that brings you down? Stowing away under the appearance of being your ally, the underminer enjoys incredible telling you your deficiencies, quirks, and oversights. Your abilities and victories? They’re not as fascinating. What the underminer needs is to feel great when others come up short, or believe they’re coming up short. Enormous slip-up to permit one of these into your life.

Photography by Patrick Hendry

See, in the journey of life, we meet various kinds of people. These three type of people you find in maximum cases. So try to stay safe from these people to save your sanity…

Did I miss out on any or any kind of person you would like to add here in the list. Let me know in the comments. So I will end it here now. See you soon again. Till then Stay safe and Take care.

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Beware of Narcissists

Narcissistic personality disorder is one of a few sorts of identity issue — is a psychological condition in which individuals have their very own expanded feeling significance, a profound requirement for extreme consideration and adoration, agitated connections, and an absence of compassion for other people.

Narcissistic identity issue is discovered all the more generally in men. The reason is obscure however likely includes a blend of hereditary and ecological elements. Side effects incorporate an intemperate requirement for esteem, negligence for others’ emotions, a powerlessness to deal with any feedback and a feeling of qualification.

The indications of narcissistic identity issue include: vainglorious feeling of significance, distraction with boundless achievement, conviction that one is extraordinary and novel, exploitative of others, absence of sympathy and extreme arrogance. These people are also known as soul-less as they cannot feel any pain of anyone and are extreme ruthless. They have an unrealistic sense of superiority. Their mind is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited successpower, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.

Narcissists are ace controllers and will endeavor to make you feel both regretful and debilitated. They are extremely selfish and believe that they deserve certain privileges because they are unique. But ultimately the narcissists need self-esteem. They need trust in themselves and experience torment as a result of it. The external shell of narcissism is only their method for adapting to it.

Though treatment can help but there is no cure to it.

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How is it to Live With a Narcissist?

Similarity and collaboration among narcissism and bipolar vainglory. Somebody who presents with narcissistic identity attributes can be hard to recognize from somebody who is encountering mellow to direct hypomania (bipolar inclination rise less intense than full craziness) with the pompous view of self.

Now I have a very great experience with a narcissist, and I am just sharing this to clarify how these people exactly function. But if you are thinking of sympathizing then don’t. I have already overcome it and I am glad that I had experienced it.

I won’t go into all the details but just to keep it short, It was just after my mom died this guy was staying at our house as a friend because his office was far from his house and our house was near. Many things happened, it became verbal, then physical abuse. He had frustration over me about certain things, the biggest issue was I never got sexually involved with him. He also had an issue that my best friend is a guy. I was tortured on a daily basis. He burnt my feet once then there are several cut marks on my left arm which he did with the knife. There is a mark of a stab of the left arm beside the bullet mark. Often my classmates would point out fingerprints on my neck, arms. He hit on my arms, legs but never on my face. He had an issue when I accomplished something, he showed me off as a trophy, and he behaved as if he owned me. At least I am lucky he never raped me to be extremely honest. Later things got bad and I had to tell my dad.

In 2016 when my dad died and after 20 days when everyone came to know that, he contacted me via email. He mocked my father’s death and said that I deserved to be an orphan. Usually, it is impossible to hurt me but those words affected me. I slit my wrist and tried to drown myself in my bathtub but I was saved. It was as if those words stuck in my head and again I tried to commit suicide again by gulping sleeping pills. I was saved again. I became suicidal. I tried talking to my senior doctors but I could not speak out about my problems with them. A good friend of mine counselled me.

I never knew that being in a relationship with a narcissist would affect me so bad. He is the reason that now no matter how much pain is inflicted upon me they don’t hurt me anymore. He stopped contacting me after my accident in May ’17.

Picture by Erastus McCart

Narcissistic relationships tend to be very challenging. Narcissistic partners usually have difficulty really loving someone else, because they don’t truly love themselves.  They are so focused on themselves that they cannot really “see” their partner as a separate person.  Ending a relationship with a narcissist is incredibly difficult, for many reasons. 


Narcissistic partners don’t want to let their prey go easily. I believe that there is no point in running away from a narcissistic partner, just face them. No matter what just face them for your sake atleast.

I guess, that’s all for today.

Stay safe, take care.

Me in 2013
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Difference between Psychopath and Sociopath

I actually never thought that I will write on this topic. I came up with this topic after researching. This idea was triggered by Mr. David Elliott from The single dad’s guide to life when on my post “How to deal with a broken heart” he commented this…
Mr. Elliott is a great person with lovely ideas and I have been a great fan of his earlier works as well.




The names psychopath and sociopath may sound similar because both of them have similar qualities but yet they are different from each other. A psychopath is a person experiencing an endless mental issue with unusual or vicious social conduct and a sociopath is a person with an identity issue showing itself in extraordinary standoffish states of mind and conduct.

Psychopathy can be thought of as a more extreme type of sociopathy with more manifestations. In this manner, all psychopaths are sociopaths yet sociopaths are not really psychopaths. According to the introduction of one with psychopathy or sociopathy varies. As per Kelly McAleer, Psy.D,

“The psychopath is callous, yet charming. He or she will con and manipulate others with charisma and intimidation and can effectively mimic feelings to present as “normal” to society. The psychopath is organized in their criminal thinking and behavior, and can maintain good emotional and physical control, displaying little to no emotional or autonomic arousal, even under situations that most would find threatening or horrifying. The psychopath is keenly aware that what he or she is doing is wrong, but does not care.

“Conversely, the sociopath is less organized in his or her demeanor; he or she might be nervous, easily agitated, and quick to display anger. A sociopath is more likely to spontaneously act out in inappropriate ways without thinking through the consequences. Compared to the psychopath, the sociopath will not be able to move through society committing callous crimes as easily, as they can form attachments and often have ‘normal temperaments.’ . . .”

As per the Society for the Study of Psychopathy, psychopath characteristics includes:

Absence of regret

Absence of compassion

Absence of profound enthusiastic connections

Narcissism

Shallow appeal

Untruthfulness

Manipulativeness

Heedless hazard taking

However, a sociopath is diagnosed at the age of 18 and their traits include:

Rehashed infringement of the law

Inescapable lying and double dealing

Physical forcefulness

Heedless negligence for security of self or others

Steady flightiness in work and family conditions

Absence of regret

Over Protective towards the one they care for

At last, I would just say that Psychopaths and Sociopaths both are harmful to society. Despite the fact that psychopaths and sociopaths both are fit for carrying out terrible wrongdoings, however, sociopaths are caring about them with whom they have a bond. They will harm themselves but not the person they love or care about. Sociopaths befriend very fewer people and the one they trust they protect them with all their life even if it means by hurting own self.

Well, that was one heck of an information isn’t it?

Though I am ending it here but there is more to know, learn and study on this topic. And I would love to thank Mr. Elliott again for this great idea. Check out The Single Dad’s Guide to Life if you are already bored with my mental health studies.

I will see you again soon. Till then, Take Care and Stay safe.

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How to Deal with a Broken Heart

Many of us have been through bad relationships. Some had dated narcissists and some had dated psychopaths and some had dated normal people but the relationship became toxic. Today here we will talk about the relationships with narcissists and psychopaths. First of all, let me tell you, these people are not at all perfect for relationships. These individuals are not your ordinary accomplice. They suffer from trauma deeper than anyone can only imagine. Consequently, being involved with a narcissist or a sociopath will definitely exchange their sufferings to you. Such a relationship crushes you from inside and, when you have acknowledged what harm has been done, it’s past the point where it is possible to leave. Be that as it may, it doesn’t mean you can’t return to your earlier self – you can, however, it requires a lot of exertion!

Let me be honest, I have been with both kind of people, a psychopath and a narcissist, I lost myself with time. I was so afraid of meeting new people that I used to push them away. I told people that I’m a sociopath (they believed it. Lol) until I met the right man recently. As I have from my past experiences I have jotted the issues which I had faced, and some I face till now.

But before I start putting up the points let me tell you that it is not easy to recognize the toxic or harmful relationship they are persevering until the point that their limit. Envision remaining in a relationship where you are persuaded that you would be hopeless without the other. You are constantly blameworthy of something, you are being disgraced and called awkward– all the pessimism which nobody merits. What they make you feel lives profound inside you and can have a consistently enduring effect.

So here is how you will feel even when you have been successful in drifting apart from your narcissistic partner.

Unable to trust

When you extraordinarily trust somebody and that trust breaks, you think that it is difficult to return to that equivalent dimension of trust. This doubt reaches out past the individual who caused it – you end up dubious of nearly everybody around you.

Incapable to Love

No one loves being utilized. It feels dreadful acknowledging you have been there for somebody through various challenges, however, the sum total of what they have been doing is utilizing you to support their inner self and narcissism. It is the thing that happens when you are involved with narcissistic individuals – they make it seem as though it is your inadequacy which divided them. You don’t feel sufficient and always feel like you don’t merit anybody’s affection or time. Also, when you feel so terrible about your own-self, how might you like others and discover them loveable?

Feeling Empty from Inside

When you have been enamored with somebody, you feel a void inside yourself when you separation. It’s as though you have given a bit of yourself to another person. In this way, when you are involved with a narcissist and give them all that you can, you would feel extremely void. In spite of knowing the way that the person was harmful, you would miss him since you were genuine with him from the beginning. You would feel like in the event that you begin another relationship, you would wind up nevertheless.

But as time passes you will learn some new things too.

Time is the best healer

Nothing changes medium-term and an effect as extreme as the one a narcissist will abandon, it will request a massive measure of time before things return to ordinary. You should stay ardent and enable yourself to dispose of the poisonous quality that the past relationship drew on you. Your mind should be available to changes and grasp the way that all the awful stuff is previously and you have to proceed onward.

Figure out how to love yourself once more

Keep in mind, mending begins from self-esteem. It is presumably the best of remedies for everything, particularly to feel commendable. Just when you cherish yourself will you have the capacity to adore others? You have to deal with yourself first and after that consider others. It will resemble finding yourself once more!

Believe in yourself

Since a narcissist or psychopath would make you feel terrible about your own self and contemptible, you should trust in yourself. You should think about the way that you endure a staggering relationship and that you are sufficiently able to persevere through these occasions. Maybe you will turn out more grounded and stronger than at any other time. The key is to have confidence in your own quality.

Remember one thing, even though it might seem as if it is the end of the world, and you will not be the same person again. But remember that it is all a part of life and now at least you away from danger.

I guess that’s enough from my side for today, see you soon again.

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What is Depression

Depression also known as dejection is a psychological well-being issue described by determinedly discouraged state of mind or loss of enthusiasm for exercises, causing critical debilitation in day by day life. It very well may be additionally named a state of mind issue. It might be portrayed as sentiments of trouble, misfortune, or outrage that meddle with a man’s ordinary exercises.

Individuals encounter depression in various ways. It might meddle with your day by day work, bringing about lost time and lower efficiency. It additionally can impact connections and some ceaseless wellbeing conditions. Conditions that can deteriorate because of gloom include:

  • Arthritis
  • Asthma
  • Cardiovascular disease
  • Cancer
  • Diabetes
  • besity

You need to make yourself realize that pitiful and distressful occasions happen in everybody’s life. Be that as it may, feeling hopeless and miserable on a predictable premise isn’t ordinary. Depression should be treated as a genuine restorative condition. If you do not get it treated it shall worsen with time and can also lead to suicidal tendency as you can read it in one of my previous post on suicide.

There are two main types: Major Depressive Disorder and Persistent Depressive Disorder.

  • MDD is an incapacitating illness that can truly influence your wellbeing and prosperity. On the off chance that you have MDD, you might be not able to appreciate exercises that you once discovered pleasurably, and you may experience serious difficulties:
  • Feeling depressed most of the day
  • Loss of interest in most regular activities
  • Significant weight loss or gain
  • Sleeping too much or not being able to sleep
  • Slowed thinking or movement
  • Fatigue or low energy most days
  • Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
  • Loss of concentration or indecisiveness
  • ecurring thoughts of death or suicide

There are different subtypes of Major Depressive Disorder which includes:

  • Atypical features
  • Peripartum onset, during pregnancy or right after giving birth
  • Seasonal patterns
  • Melancholic features
  • Psychotic features
  • Catatonia

Persistent depressive disorder (PDD): This is also known as dysthymia. It’s a gentle, however incessant, type of sorrow. Indications frequently keep going for somewhere around two years. PDD can influence your life more than clinical discouragement since it goes on for a more drawn out period. It’s basic for individuals with PDD to:

  • Lose interest in normal daily activities
  • Feel hopeless
  • Lack of productivity
  • Have low self-esteem

Individuals with PDD might be viewed as basic and unfit to have some good times.

Causes of Depression

There are a few conceivable reasons for depression. Early youth injury can cause gloom. This is on the grounds that a few occasions affect the manner in which the body responds to fear and distressing circumstances. A few people create melancholy in view of their hereditary qualities. You will probably create it in the event that you have a family history of dejection or another temperament issue.

Other basic causes include:

Cerebrum structure: there’s a more serious hazard for discouragement if the frontal flap of your mind is less dynamic

Restorative conditions, for example, a ceaseless sickness, a sleeping disorder, endless torment, or consideration deficiency hyperactivity issue

A background marked by mishandling medications and liquor

Numerous other individuals will have no discernable reason for their melancholy.

Around 30 percent of individuals who have a substance misuse issue additionally encounter wretchedness.Notwithstanding these causes, other hazard factors for depression include:

Low confidence or acting naturally basic

Individual history of dysfunctional behavior

Certain medicines

Unpleasant occasions, for example, loss of a friend or family member, monetary issues, or a separation

How to diagnose depression

There is definitely not a solitary test to analyze depression. In any case, your specialist can make a determination dependent on your manifestations and a mental assessment. Much of the time, your specialist will get some information about your dispositions, hunger, rest design, movement level, and musings.

Since depression can be connected to other medical issues, your specialist may likewise lead a physical examination and request blood work.Here and there thyroid issues or a vitamin D insufficiency can trigger manifestationsof misery.

Try not to overlook indications of depression. On the off chance that your state of mind doesn’t enhance or deteriorates, look for restorative help. Depression is a genuine psychological maladjustment with the dangers of entanglements. This problem affects you as well as your friends and family. Whenever left untreated, complexities include:

  • Weight gain or loss
  • Physical pain
  • Substance abuse problems
  • Panic attacks
  • Relationship problems
  • Social isolation
  • Suicidal thoughts
  • Self-mutilation

Treatment for Depression

The pillar of treatment is typically medication, talk treatment or a mix of the two. Progressively, inquire about proposes that these medicines ma standardize mind changes related to depression.

That is all for today. See you soon. Until then recognize the signs and help others in time.

Take Care

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How does Heartbreak Affect a Girl?

Heartbreak is painful because when your heart is broken, it can feel like the apocalypse. No measure of torment has ever felt so anguishing or thought. It resembles a monster opening was pulverized into your chest, with no expectation of fix. A lady who once had her heart broken can figure out how to pardon, truly, however, she will always remember how a broken heart feels. I was recently talking to some good friends of mine Dalene from Dalene Ekirapa from Dalene Ekirapa and Karen from Karen Monica with whom I have done certain previous projects earlier about it and I asked about their input on it and what they said was interesting.

Dalene says

For first lovers, upon suffering a heartbreak, you may find yourself disliking men, most men of the same niche as your ex boyfriend. A case where a boyfriend cheats on you, going to the next relationship, you will have this prior suspicion the guy will also do the same to you.

Most times we lack appetite for food, we feel we’re good, we deprive ourselves food, my advice, eat, even if you don’t feel like, don’t trust your guts, you know the importance of healthy eating and drinking of water. Remember life has to go on. You’ll soon get over it and you’ll need to be healthy to do your routines.

Sure, you may feel like you deserve to die, like you should kill the nerd, don’t trust yourself again. Seek advice from the few you have around.

If you want to get over it quickly, be as much open about it, to anyone you feel like, care less about who they’ll tell, be intentional, your aim is to get over it. Talking is by far the best therapy ever. You may shed 2-4 tears if you feel like. But never cry alone in a lonely room, it’ll dehydrate you.

Dalene Ekirapa

Karen Says

To me, every heartbreak sucks at the beginning. It not only drains you
emotionally but it hurts you physically as well. You are at the point
where you feel that you have just lost everything (that may not be the
truth in reality) but that is how the mind reacts when you get rejected.

You feel so unmotivated. It is like the world has shut you out. You look around and you feel that everyone is happy except you. You just want to be
by yourself in a room and cry your heart out. And that gets you down even
more.

Heartbreak is an emotional chaos. Your stress levels starts to soar high.
You would avoid looking at yourself in the mirror because you look like a
mess.

But all that usually happens only at the beginning phase of a heartbreak.
Once you get to overcome that roller coaster period, you will start to see
a newer you.

Slowly the emotional and physical pain will start to heal. The stress
levels will go back to normal. You will feel emotionally stronger. The
world will start to look like a much better place. You will be inspired to
improve your life.

I believe that each heartbreak will nurture you to be a better and
stronger person. You are still smiling and standing after all that
emotional chaos, aren’t you?

Karen Monica

Well, to be honest Karen’s question made me question myself and then I came up with ideas how to deal with it, of course we all handle our heartbreaks in our own way but the one I am about to mention here are the one which will help you with the grief of heartbreak.

Take it each day by itself.

Or on the other hand, hell, one breath at any given moment. One minute on end. When I was down and crushed, I couldn’t envision how on the planet I would endure, not to mention do basically everything that I knew was coming. Contemplating what’s to come was completely overpowering. I couldn’t do it. Rather, I simply focused on single days. The present was excruciating, yet I remained there. I remained with the agony as it ebbed and moved as the days progressed. What’s more, the days crawled by, everyone a little triumph.

Connect.

Web stories can be great, yet it’s your friends and family will’s identity a gift from heaven during melancholy. Try not to delay to contact your loved ones quickly when something disastrous has happened.

During my first break up (the only break up which hurt me) my mom was already dead so I talked to my dad, and a few of my close friends soon after my break up. They couldn’t influence the agony to leave, yet they tuned in and said what they could. I realized I was thought about. I realized they were concerned. Feeling that adoration advised me that I wasn’t useless. I was as yet the same me.

Discover comfort in music.

After the split, I sat in an airplane terminal, tuning in to “Hurt” by Johnny Cash, crying discreetly to myself as neglectful individuals strolled by. It felt great to give it a chance to out. It was a piece of my recuperating procedure. Music was another consistent, something that wouldn’t disappoint me. I think I presumably tuned in to each tragic melody I’d at any point heard. It wasn’t an approach to feel frustrated about myself (OK, perhaps a bit) as much as other methods for realizing I wasn’t the only one. It was a method for feeling all the more powerfully the torment in the tunes and verses of others, a method for sympathizing with them and realizing they saw how I felt as well.

Keep up your daily routine

This was maybe the hardest activity after what occurred—come back to my everyday practice. Truly, I had a craving for securing myself a dim stay with ten pounds of dessert and sucking my thumb for the following couple of months. It didn’t appear to be conceivable to come back to my everyday life. In any case, I did, and sooner or later, I understood that it was my standard that was restoring my feeling of direction. In reality, doing things took my psyche off of the gap in my chest and helped me to remember my esteem.

Accept.

It takes a specific proportion of confidence to fall into a dark opening of torment, grab around carelessly for some time, and in the long run develop. My circumstance felt without anything positive. It appeared as though there was nothing to hang my cap on. However, someplace, profound inside me, I figured out how to discover the mettle to trust that things would be better once more. I trusted that life would not neglect me. I trusted I could endure the hardship, and following a couple of months, the skyline didn’t look so distressing any longer. I started to leave the past where it was intended to be—behind me—and to discover fulfillment in the present.

Well at the end, I would just say that maybe it is hard to move on but not impossible.

I would love to know your thoughts too about this so let me know.

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